capricorn one

CAPRICORN ONE
Rated PG, 1978
Sam Waterson, James Brolin, OJ Simpson

I kept using the phrase "Capricorn One" to describe a government snowjob, until I couldn't stand it anymore and just had to rent the DVD. Hadn't seen it since the drive in when I was a teenager. It has aged remarkably well. Not bad at all. OJ is as wooden as in all his movies, and the investigative reporter role went out with the last rounds of corporate cost cutting, but all in all a pretty good flick. Maned mission to Mars is faked, and the astronauts hunted down to keep the secret. Most likely Hollywood cashing in on the "moon landing is fake" conspiracy theory.

role models

ROLE MODELS
Rated UR, 2008
Sean W Scott, Paul Rudd

This one starts out hilarious, with much joshing and insults back and forth, a womanizer and a slacker. The guys get in trouble with the law and must do community service. Slacker gets a dork thats whole life is a live D&D. Stud gets a foul mouthed ghetto kid. The little black kid is pretty funny, ten years old and cussing like a sailor and always on boob patrol. The gal in charge of the mentor program is the actress from "Glee" that plays the wicked witch, so you can imagine how funny she is. Three quarters of the film is great, then at the end it turns into a morality play and starts taking itself too serious. So, keep that in mind before you rent it.

kill bill

KILL BILL
Rated R, 2004
Uma Thurman, David Carradine

I have always loved Quentin Tarrantino. A friend turned me on to Reservoir Dogs, and I was in love before Pulp Fiction came out. One of his films is always sure to be original and enjoyable. Kill Bill Volume 1 & 2 were no exception. This was, I think, both a lovefest of martial arts films while at the same time making fun of the more off the wall aspects of them. And as usual, the dialog is superb. The action jumps back and forth, more novel than film. Quentin simple loves movies, and he is one of the best at taking us to his happy place.

death race

DEATH RACE
Rated R, 2008
Jason Statham
This was a fun movie. I like Statham as I have yet to be disappointed with any of his movies. I know this puts a lot of pressure on him and it’s a lot to ask, but perhaps he could continue picking those parts that are action packed yet have a sense of playfulness about them. Not just “forget five minutes after watching” explosions and gunfire. I’m not asking for great plotlines here, just a quirky sense of humor to go along with boobs, automatic weapons and multi-story fireballs. The movie wasn’t perfect. No nudity. Not terribly original or suspenseful. But simply fun. Recommended.

cool hand luke

COOL HAND LUKE
Rated NR, 1967
George Kennedy, Paul Newman

What we have here is a failure to communicate! Great tag lines provide a great service in reminding us what movies are worth going back and watching on disc. A classic, Newman is perfect portraying an oddball that the system has a hard time breaking. Just enough hints that you feel the legend that he becomes is all too human. It is almost mandatory that he self destructs rather than step outside the rut he’s created and others have helped him build. A slow moving picture, it takes its time getting where it’s going, but you never get bored. A great film well worth watching again.

the proposal

THE PROPOSAL
Rated PG-13, 2009
Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, Betty White

Another romantic comedy that is less comedy than romance. The funniest part of this was the previews of "Old Dogs" that came before the movie started. A group of penguins attacking. Oh, it wasn't totally lame. There was plenty of chuckles. But I felt that Reynolds was being held back and Sandra was playing a role not suited for her. It wasn't godawful bad, but it wasn't all that great either. A throw away film, never to be watched again or remembered fondly. Worth the buck at Redbox, not a waste of time considering what is on TV these days, but simply forgettable. Circumstances force a wedding between a boss and her assistant, they pretend to be a couple, then they fall in love at the end. Wake me when something interesting happens.

the survivors

THE SURVIVORS
Rated R, 1983
Robin Williams, Walter Matthau, Jerry Reed

You might wonder why I’m including this movie, which is basically just a spoof on the survivalist movement. True, it has nothing to do with the post-apocalypse movie genre. But it has such a wonderful sense of humor about the whole thing it is a must see. Yes, the movie is poking fun at preppers and survivalists. It was part of the whole media movement to discredit the idea. If you still bought into the whole mass culture, lemming movement of jingoism and consumerism you hung your head in shame and shot off your ammunition, sold your guns and threw away your cans of freeze dried food. Even after Y2K, there were plenty of folks that were secretly shamed into having panicked again and reentered polite society after disposing of the incriminating evidence. Time and time again, you see the mass panic due to a certain problem ( Soviet nuclear weapons, famine and drought, economic depression, computer failure grid down, hurricanes destroying entire cities and states, etc. ), followed by a feeling of idiocy when the threat petered out.
*
This is unfortunate, as preparedness should be a continuous state of affairs rather than event specific. But most folks need to belong to the dominant group, being a survival trait in itself, and will easily be goaded into behavior that benefit’s the group rather than themselves. While mass consumption of preparedness products does help the economy, it is far more important for each worker drone to invest all their wealth in the banking industry. When the worker pays taxes, pays into retirement, buys stocks and opens a savings account for whatever is left over from perpetual auto loans and thirty year mortgages, that really keeps the finance sector humming. A few measly bucks of guns and storage food just stimulates the economy when a recession hits. So the mass media is the whore for the banks, and the survival writers that panic and implore the middle class to once again panic over a brand new collapse or threat are also whores for the bankers. Just not as well paid except for a few select super stars. Yet, even knowing all this one can’t help but really enjoy a movie that makes fun of the survivalist movement. Just because I take it all seriously enough to alter my life in no way means I don’t like to laugh over the absurdity of it all.
*
The Survivors spares no laughs over the absurdity of preparing. Donald ( Williams )is a upper manager for a corporation. He is fired by a parrot ( the boss trained the parrot to fire them, then went on vacation ). Sonny ( Matthau ) is a gas station owner that loses his business due to the company suspending gasoline deliveries. They are together in a diner when it is robbed by a hit man ( he is also affected by the economy and must stoop to petty crime ). When Sonny fights back ( he’s not wearing any underwear and doesn’t want to disrobe as instructed ) and Donald is shot, they become friends. Don goes on television to tape his rebuke to an editorial decrying victim self defense and manages to name both of them in his bumbling way, which of course the hit man sees on the news and finds out where Sonny lives. He is about to shoot him but Don comes over and also manages to bumble his way into subduing the hit man ( Jerry Reed ). They turn him over to the police and on the way home Don wants to stop by a gun store to arm himself for protection. We can forget the fact that NYC doesn’t just sell guns to any Joe Blow off the block, that would just spoil the story, wouldn’t it? The gun store is full of crazies. John Goodman plays a very short role as the on spot salesman for a survival training school. There is a four foot little old lady going for the biggest revolver she can find ( she needs two hands for it ). Of course, Donald sees a .308 battle rifle with bipod, bayonet and fifty round magazine and simply must have it. He arrives home with his purchases and his fiancée freaks out about it. More so when she finds out he has already enrolled both of them in the course.
*
Donald goes off to learn how to be one of the new Warrior Kings, and Sonny is still around when the hit man is released on bail. The new deal is that he won’t kill them both if Donald agrees he won’t say anything about the Jimmy Hoffman hit ( the hit man claims to have hit him, and the two think his confessing to them means they too will be assassinated ). Sonny goes upstate to ask Don to agree with this, but Donald goads him on so they can fight to the death. This, in the end, involves the whole survivalist camp. But meantime the “in-jokes” about the movement come fast and thick. It is nice to see the writer did his research. And it really is quite funny. Even your own sacred cows being slaughtered is funny if you manage to keep your sense of humor.
Genre Rating-not post apocalypse, just poking fun at survivalists.
Nudity Rating-none, other than a fast shot at Williams junk as he moons the TV news.
Overall Rating-excellent, a damn good comedy.