elektra

ELEKTRA
Rated PG-13, 2005
Jennifer Garner

I assume this was the sequel to “Daredevil”. I never saw it. And I’m not really into comic books. Some of the adaptations are just fine, others I don’t like. I don’t base it whether the comic was good, since I don’t spend $5 for a few dozen pages of color illustrations, but on if it was a good movie. I don’t think this one was very good. It reminded me too much of Chop Suey movies from the Far East. All that mythical, good and evil, magic and super natural powers. Jesus, keep off the opium pipe, you know. I had my fill of Dungeons and Dragons before I was 20. This isn’t fun Chop Suey like “Kill Bill”, more like “Crouching To Take A Dump Tiger” Chinese crap.
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The back cover introduces us to the sexiest action hero. Umm. Okay. I personally found Jennifer to be a bit heavy on the caboose and light on the cow catcher, if you know what I mean ( if you don’t, it’s all ass and little chest ). I could be wrong, but it looked like a padded push up bra and an unnatural posture was needed to achieve the sexy part. Perhaps teenage boys like that kind of thing since she’s all ninja and they get the whole fem dominance thing going. I thought she just came off as frigid. Perhaps the whole problem was that of the typical sequel. Not as good as the original. Again, I didn’t see the first one but a lot of times sequels are real stinkers all on their own. And I won’t count on this series having another movie to redeem itself like ‘Die Hard’ and ‘Star Wars’ did. All that flash back and hallucinations and guys turning into demons and back again, super ninja moves that defy the laws of physics, etc. I mean, are we still bringing knifes and wizards to fight? Didn’t guns kind of make all that crap obsolete? I guess it’s a comic fan boy thing and I wouldn’t understand.
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The Super Ninja Training Dude was white rather than oriental. The “love” interest ( and I use that term loosely since Elektra was such a frigid bitch-oh, boo hoo, I had a troubled childhood and can’t show emotion ) was all pretty boy with little depth himself. And certainly didn’t come across as a father. The daughter wasn’t too bad of a character. She had a bit of humor at least half the time when they didn’t have her trying out twenty different characters ( one minute teenage angst the next aspiring ninja trainee, the next frightened and helpless, then the next moment Super Ninja Protégé Fem and on it went ). The only enjoyable character really was the agent for Elektra. And the Evil Demon With Death Touch. The agent didn’t take himself too seriously, enjoyed life. The Death Touch bitch was played with passion, not just “Intense Anger” most of the others brought to the table. And at least she had a rack.
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All in all, an experience not to pay for.